


I Don't Think I'm Quite Comfortable With An Eight-Year-Old Asking Me That

by iexpectedsportaflop (MyChocolateAddiction)



Series: Lazy Town [6]
Category: LazyTown
Genre: Cross-Generational Friendship, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Pre-Relationship, Stress Eating, Suicidal Thoughts, stephanie is so supportive omg i love it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-05 13:39:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11014530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyChocolateAddiction/pseuds/iexpectedsportaflop
Summary: Robbie's not feeling so great, and Stephanie will do whatever she can to help him.





	I Don't Think I'm Quite Comfortable With An Eight-Year-Old Asking Me That

**Author's Note:**

> sorry in advance, the first bit is a just shit ton of fairly unfiltered projection, i've edited it down as much as i could from my horribly cringy first draft, but i'm still kinda embarrassed at it. i guess technically it could be a good thing since it's probably more accurate since it's based on my own experience, but still i'm not too comfortable with it.
> 
> idk lol, and the rest isn't so bad.
> 
> Enjoy! ^u^

Robbie hadn't left his lair since Tuesday.

He hadn't slept since Thursday. Or was it Wednesday? He was too tired to remember.

The only social interaction he'd had was Stephanie, who had visited him on Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday to watch more of _Senpai Senpai!_. Previously, he had been embarrassed to admit he enjoyed it, but truthfully by now he had lost interest. By Wednesday the episodes were bland, boring, pointless. By Friday it had completely lost its spark for him. He knew just why.

Behind the low-level glamour he'd spent almost the whole of Tuesday night practicing, Robbie had been crying. Still was, although the magic had long since worn off over the weekend. He hadn't wanted Stephanie to see him, his tiredness, his sadness, his weakness, because he knew she'd have just sent Sportacus, and made it even worse. The spell was similar to but not the same as his disguise magic, so he wasn't very good at it, but it did the job on a trusting kid like Stephanie.

On not one of these visits, how ever, had she mentioned Sportacus, and that combined with his lack of sleep, Robbie had almost managed to convince himself that Tuesday morning's events were a dream. A terrible, terrible dream. Almost. _Because that couldn't have happened_ , he told himself despairingly, _Sportacus hates me, and I-I hate him! There's no way that could have really happened, no way. No way. No way. No way._

Tears streamed silently down his face, clouding his vision, words screamed silently through his mind, clouding his thoughts.

 _I don't deserve to have even_ dreamt _about being happy_ , he told himself. _I'm a terrible, horrible person, and I don't deserve anything good. I don't deserve to be happy!_ He took a deep, shuddering breath in, and threw his head down, sobbing loudly, into the wet, tear-stained fluff of his chair. _WHY DID YOU BREATHE?_ he screamed inside his head, _YOU DO NOT DESERVE TO BREATHE!!_

Robbie held his breath indignantly, for as long as he possibly could, but his body fought against it, and he ultimately let go, taking another raspy lungful of air in through the layer of tears that coated every inch of his face. _Why am I like this?_ he asked himself, _Why can't I just- just stop breathing? I want to! I'm trying! Why can't I?_ He wrapped his hands around his neck in a vain effort to stop himself from taking his next breath, gripping until he gagged and let go on reflex. _WHAT ARE YOU DOING?_ he screamed at himself in his mind, but he stopped, sat back up, and tried his very, very best to calm down. _Stop, he ordered himself, If I'm gone, there will be no-one to keep the town lazy! Don't even imagine it._

 _Inhale, and hold, exhale, and hold._ Robbie instructed his muddled mind. It went more like 'Inhale, and hate yourself for it, exhale, and hate yourself for it.'. But it was a start. He rubbed his face, which didn't dry the tears at all, as his sleeve was already completely soaked. His eyes felt a little heavy from all the strain put on them by the tears rushing out, and his first thought was coffee, he couldn't let himself fall asleep. He tried to get up, out of the chair, but couldn't find an ounce of motivation.

 _What's the point?_ he thought. _So what if I fall asleep?_ He quickly corrected himself. _Who am I kidding, I don't deserve sleep. But I don't deserve coffee!_ He felt another bout of tears welling in the back of his drooping eyes, and let them fall. He leant back into the the chair, defeated by himself like so many times before, and curled his gangly legs up under his chin. He hung his head down, burying it in his bony knees, heaving with awful sobs. On the one hand, he was just glad he wasn't trying to stop himself breathing any more, but the other, he just wished it would just all go away, without the awful disappointment of his body fighting against his wishes.

He didn't end up getting any coffee.

~

Robbie blinked heavily, and coughed, sitting up. He'd fallen asleep. _YOU FELL ASLEEP_ , he screamed in frustration, silent noise bouncing off the walls of his muddled brain, _YOU DO NOT DESERVE SLEEP!_ he told himself. He coughed again a few times, which cleared his head slightly, as much as coughing could. _Get it together._ he instructed his dazed, self-destructive thoughts, _If I don't want to dream, the worst thing I can do is just sit here without coffee. And I don't want to sleep, I don't deserve it. Coffee, and this time_ actually _get some._ Robbie pushed himself up out of his chair by his frail, tired arms, not far enough to be able to stand, but certainly far enough that when he fell, he fell forward, onto his knees. He didn't even try to block the impact, he deserved it.

It wasn't too painful, he'd had worse, and the rug under his chair cushioned it slightly, but it still hurt like hell and he was pretty sure he'd scratched his shins from the friction.

"Ugh." Robbie groaned aloud, "That fucking _hurt_." His voice was cracked, quiet, and sharp, almost a hiss. He struggled, flopping back down, defeated, a few times more, but after what seemed like a hundred attempts he was standing, wobbling but standing nonetheless, on his own two feet. He took a shaky step, arms spread out to keep himself from toppling back down. Then another, moving his arms down slightly. Then another, and by the time he was not halfway to the kitchen he was walking almost normally, bar the incessant tears still streaming quietly down his face and dripping onto his shirt, showing no signs of stopping.

Robbie clutched the corner of his messy kitchen counter to steady himself, utterly exhausted from only a ten-second stumble to the kitchen. _Coffee_. he told himself, _You can't let yourself fall asleep again, you don't deserve it._ He pushed himself back up, and went through the practiced, ritualistic motions of brewing a boiling mug of sweetened coffee. He drank it quickly, not even waiting for it to cool, the burning sensation at the back of his mouth reminding him that he could at least feel something other than painful sadness and emptiness.

Robbie still felt wrong. He knew he couldn't do anything about it, he was going to be feeling 'wrong' for the next week or two, but he still opened the fridge, took out three-quarters of a four-tiered cake, and stumbled back to his chair, carrying it. Sitting back down, utterly exhausted, he used the last of his remaining energy to lift his hand from the arm of the chair and tear off a fistful of sponge. He stuffed it into his mouth whole, but it tasted wrong. It didn't taste sweet, or salty or sour or anything for that matter. It didn't taste like cake. It was probably just because he'd burnt his tongue a bit drinking the coffee, that must be it. Obviously.

Robbie ignored this, however, and continued to feed himself cake, messily and pointlessly. By the time he had painfully swallowed all the cake he'd brought, he just felt sick. Eating even his favourite comfort food, usually his only solace, did nothing to reduce the all-consuming emptiness that was swallowing up even the tears now refusing to fall from his bleary eyes. _That helped_ , he told himself sternly, _it helped. I should eat more cake._ So he did, despite how sick he felt, how dry his mouth was, how he couldn't even taste the sugar in his favourite food. He took a second cake, back to his chair, and sat back down. He stared at it, knowing how little he wanted to eat it. But he still did.

Half a cake later, and Robbie felt like throwing up. The remaining half was all the food he had left in the house, other than cake ingredients, and although eating it would potentially mean going without food for as long as a week, he was still determined to do so. _Eat, asshole!_ he ordered his uncooperative body, _It'll make me happy, it'll make me better. It will._ He tried his very best to lift another chunk of cake to his mouth, but spat it out. He couldn't. Turns out there really was such thing as too much cake. He set the plate down on the table by his chair, still sobbing wretchedly.

 _I-I failed..._ The awful realisation resonated around his mind, making him squirm. _I'm not going to be happy unless I keep eating, am I just going to resign myself to never getting better? I have to get better, I'm the villain, this town needs me!_ Robbie sighed. _Oh, who am I kidding? They don't need me, they won't miss me._

A loud knock and louder cry of, "Robbie! Can I come in?" from a voice sounding a lot like Stephanie's sounded from outside, startling him. _Shit_. he thought. He needed magic. And fast. "Helloo?" Stephanie yelled concernedly. And _fast_. Ah, what was it? How did he do that again? "Are you awake down there?" she asked.

Robbie gulped down his tears and wiped his face. The glamour had surely taken affect by now. "Yes, I'm awake." he shouted up with difficultly, "What do you want?"

"Can I come watch some more _Senpai Senpai!_ with you?" she called back.

"Sure." Robbie replied bluntly. "Um, I'm in the chair, which I'm going to move, I'm not having you land on me, so expect to fall on the ground."

" _What_?"

"Don't worry, there's a rug. That should help." he told her, begrudgingly pushing his chair out of Stephanie's fall path.

"Okay, I'm down the ladder now, are you sure I'm not going to hurt myself?" Stephanie asked concernedly.

"Do you want to watch it or not?" Robbie provoked.

"Okaay..." Stephanie agreed dubiously, and a moment later hit the rug with an, "Oof! Huh, that wasn't so ba- ROBBIE!"

Robbie turned his head to face her. "What?" he asked, confused.

"What _happened_? Wh-what's that purple smokey stuff? Why are you crying?" she blathered.

The realisation began to sink in. Stephanie could see through the magic, she could see him crying, his only cover had been broken, he-

"I'm, I-I'm, I just.." Robbie trailed off, waving his hand slightly to desummon the failed enchantment.

"Do you want me to get Sportacus, would that help?" she offered.

"It would not."

"Okay..." she acknowledged, "Can I do anything at all? I don't know if I'd be any good at helping, but I don't want you to be sad!"

"Why would you want to help me? I don't deserve your pity!" Robbie bawled, tears falling in thick waves, and chest heaving with sobs.

"Because I care about you, Robbie! I don't want you to cry! None of us do!" she protested.

Robbie took a deep breath and said with all the calmness he could muster, "I-I don't believe you." before falling back into painful tears.

"Why?" Stephanie asked him.

"I, because I-I'm, I- Y-you have no reason to, to care about me!" he sobbed, "I'm just a grumpy, miserable old man who spends his hours stopping you brats playing sport. You should hate me, y-you, you should all hate me! Wh-why should I believe you don't hate me?"

"I know you probably don't want to hear this," Stephanie apologised in advance, "But just because you're a grumpy old man and try to stop our playing, or however you said it, doesn't mean we hate you! The others have loads of fun playing your games, they tell me all the time! Ziggy was asking just yesterday where you'd been all this week, he misses you!"

" _What_?" Robbie didn't believe it. He couldn't believe it. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't. It didn't make sense! They all hated him, of course they did! Stephanie must be lying. "A-and they're not _games_!"

"I don't know what else to tell you! No-one hates you, Robbie!" Stephanie said in a desperate attempt to convince him.

"I hate me. Surely that counts for something?" Robbie asked cynically, eyes narrowed as best as he could given their teary state.

Stephanie looked slightly sad. "Why? Sorry, I'm not very good at this, am I."

"Awful, frankly, but it's better than Sportaflop." Robbie responded bluntly, ignoring her first question of why.

"Sorry." Stephanie apologised again. "So, do you want to watch some _Senpai Senpai!_?" she asked. Robbie grimaced slightly. He didn't, but she clearly did. "No? It's okay if you don't want to, I can see you're really sad."

"No." Robbie replied, looking down slightly embarrassedly, tears falling slowly down onto his stretched-out legs.

"That's fine!" Stephanie encouraged. "Do you want me to stay, or I can go home if you think you'll be okay?"

"Whatever, just go play with your friends. Don't make yourself stay here just because you pity me." Robbie spat.

"Okay.." Stephanie trailed off disappointedly. She seemed to bear a slight knowing look, but Robbie brushed it off, he was probably just imagining it. "Bye, then." she said, "See you later!" and pulled herself up the chute and out of the lair. _Huh,_ Robbie thought, _that was easy. Probably because she didn't even want to be here in the first place_.

His tears had all but stopped, at least for the moment, seeming to have cried himself out. He coughed a few times, let out a cracked breath of air and wiped his tearstained face with a tearstained sleeve. He still felt like complete shit, but at least he'd stopped crying. He reached down to the table just next to his chair and picked up another bit of cake, this time a carefully torn almost-slice rather than a crumb-y handful of over-frosted sponge. He lifted it, and cautiously took a bite. It... just tasted like cake again. He took another bite. Had there been something wrong with the cake he had eaten before? But that didn't make sense, it was the same cake! Maybe he really had eaten too much.

Robbie continued eating the cake as slowly as he could, not really thinking for fear he'd revert his slight temporary recovery, for what felt like hours but was probably more like minutes. Time always seemed to slow when thoughts did the same. He finished the slice, and decided against a second for fear of it making him feel ill again.

Forehead on his knees, Robbie didn't notice a small bundle of children fall from the chute above, until one came over and tapped him on the shoulder. He looked up.

"Ugh. Stephanie, what are you doing back here?" he asked weakly.

"Well, you told me to play with my friends, so-" she stepped slightly to the side to reveal the squirming pile of brats trying to get up, "I thought I'd bring them here! I didn't want to leave you alone!" she explained.

"This is worse!" Robbie complained, "My ears hurt just looking at them!"

Stephanie ignored him. "Ziggy!" she called, turning around to help him up, "Robbie isn't feeling very well today, and I told him that you were asking where he'd been, and guess what? He didn't believe me! Could you go tell him yourself?" she requested.

"He didn't believe you, huh? Oh, that guy! Uh, yeah, I will!" Ziggy agreed, and turned to Robbie, jogging a few steps over. "Um, hello! Stephanie, uh, said that-"

"I heard. You don't need to tell me." Robbie butted in coldly.

"Oh, you heard, huh? Okay, um, so, yeah I think your, uh, schemes and stuff, I, um, think they're really fun, huh! Even though you have to lose." Ziggy giggled nervously, adding, "And, um, I'm sorry you're not feeling so good right now, um, I get sad too, when I can't find my candy!"

"Th-thanks, kid." Robbie said as genuinely as he could manage, although he felt a child Ziggy's age wouldn't pick up on it.

"Mr Rotten." Stingy addressed him sternly, "This lair is an absolute _mess_!" He turned to his friend. "Stephanie, you can't expect me to stay down here a moment longer if he doesn't let me clean up this _instant_!"

"Go for it, if it'll shut you up." Robbie approved.

"Very good." Stingy agreed, nodding sharply. He turned, and with surprising ease, began to carry a fairly large box of equipment back over to the stack of similar boxes. In complete silence, no less.

"Are you feeling any better now, Robbie?" Stephanie asked.

"I guess..." he replied, and explained further, "But that's only because if I'm talking to someone, the crying and all that gets bottled up for later."

"Um, I don't really know what you mean..." Stephanie admitted, "Still, I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. I'll try to keep everyone quiet."

"Hey, I never said they could stay here, quiet or not!" Robbie half-shouted after her, but she either ignored him or didn't seem to hear. Great.

"Hey, Robbie," Pixel said shyly, coming up from behind the chair, "Sorry to bother you, but is that your laptop over there?" he asked.

"What else would it be? Of course it's a laptop, I thought you of all people would know that. What do you want?" Robbie responded.

"Oh, I have a similar model, and I don't know, I just wanted to comment, I guess." Pixel explained nervously.

"Don't touch it." Robbie told him.

Stephanie and her loud friend who Robbie still hadn't gotten the name of began to talk, and he couldn't help but overhear. "Can we go yet, Pinkie? I'm bored." Loud Girl complained.

"Trixie, keep it down!" Stephanie hissed. "We're here to keep Robbie company, and he doesn't like us shouting!"

So that was her name. Trixie. Suited her, but of course it suited her. If it didn't she'd have gotten herself an even more fitting nickname, like the others had. "Why do I need to keep him company?" Trixie asked, not lowering her volume in the slightest. "I don't like him, and neither does anyone else!"

"That's really mean, Trixie..." Stephanie told her friend.

" _Robbie's_ really mean!" Trixie retaliated.

"No he's not!" Stephanie defended.

"Hey, speak for yourself!" Robbie butted in, "I'm glad there's at least _someone_ who respects my reputation as resident villain." The casual self-depreciation Robbie could usually pull off without a hitch was spoiled slightly as a leftover tear or two trickled out the corner of his eye and down his cheek. He quickly swiped at his face with a drying cuff.

Stephanie ignored him, and turned back to her friend, continuing to defend Robbie. "Trixie, seriously! If you aren't going to be nice to Robbie for once in your life then please go outside!"

"And you're coming with me!" Trixie protested.

"No, I'm not." Stephanie said seriously, "Robbie is really sad, and last time I checked you aren't, so I think it's more important that I stay here with him."

"Fine!" Trixie stropped, loud enough that Robbie reflexively covered his ears, "If you care about him more than _your best friend,_ you can stay here! See if I care!"

"Trixie!" Stephanie called, but her friend ignored her.

"Ziggy, Pixel, Stingy! We're leaving!" Trixie ordered bossily.

"Why?" Ziggy asked.

"We're _leaving_ , Ziggy!" she sighed.

" _I'm_ not leaving until I've finished tidying up." Stingy proclaimed.

"You know what," Robbie began, "why don't you _all_ just go? I can't say I don't enjoy the sound of you arguing but at this close range it's far too loud. Go argue outside."

"Robbie, I'm not leaving you on your own, you'll get sad again!" Stephanie told him.

"Out! All of you!" Robbie ordered.

Stephanie narrowed her eyes. "I'm not going _anywhere_. You need someone to stay with you right now, and if it's not me it'll have to be Sportacus."

"Get your loud friend out of here at least, then." Robbie conceded.

Stephanie turned to talk to her friends, "Right, guys," she said, "Robbie says thank you for coming to see him, but-"

"No I don't!" Robbie interjected.

"But it's time for you to go now, kay?" she continued "I'm going to stay here to keep an eye on him, I'll see you all later!"

Trixie glared and stuck her tongue out, Ziggy and Pixel nodded, and Stingy told Robbie he'd be back to finish the tidying. They scrambled back up the chute, loud shouts of 'You're standing on my hand!' and the like echoing along with loud footsteps all the way up.

"So, do you want to talk? Or something?" Stephanie asked, "I'm not leaving you here to be sad on your own, so what should I do to try to make you happier?"

"I don't know." Robbie told her, "I've never really had someone to talk to about this kind of stuff, but no offence, you're a kid, and I don't think you'll be able to understand all this."

"Well, just talk at me then, if you think it'll help." Stephanie offered.

"I-I don't know, I'm not very good at opening up to people," admitted Robbie.

"Is it to do with Sportacus, or something else?" she asked him.

"I don't know, um, not really I guess," he replied vaguely.

"Well, that's good. I know he'd hate to be the cause of any of your, um, sad feelings? That's not a very good way of phrasing it." Stephanie reassured, "Do you know why you're so sad and stuff?"

"It's just something wrong with me. Been this way since I was eleven or so." Robbie explained.

"That's when your mom died right?" Stephanie asked.

"Yup. And a bunch of other shit too."

"Well, I won't make you think about it, it might make you sadder. And that's not good!" Stephanie consoled.

"Don't think I can get much sadder at this point." Robbie stated.

"Why don't you think about what makes you happy, then?" Stephanie suggested, "I don't know if this help is any good, but I'm trying my best!"

"I refuse to think about that." Robbie said decisively.

"Why?"

"I don't deserve to be happy."

"Yes you do!"

"No I don't."

"Well, um, why do you think that?" Stephanie quizzed him, twiddling her thumbs nervously.

"Same reasons as why you should hate me." he said, continuing, "I spend all day crying, eating cake, and stopping you and your annoying little friends from having fun. I'm mean, I'm grumpy, I'm unhealthy, I'm ugly, I'm always in your way, I'm, I'm-" He broke down into tears again, unable to continue.

"Robbie, of course you deserve to be happy! Everyone does!" Stephanie encouraged, putting a small hand on his shoulder. Normally he would have flinched away from it, pushed her off, but the small gesture of kindness was uncharacteristically calming. "It's okay to be sad sometimes too, but you have to remember how to be happy!"

Robbie looked up, eyes red and streaming, and gave the child a weak smile. "Thanks.." he told her, "I guess I needed to hear that from someone else, I don't believe it when I say that to myself."

"No problem!" Stephanie chirped, "Sometimes all we really need is a friend, right?" Robbie nodded. "So, do you want to talk about something else, or what?"

"I don't really know, I don't have a lot of experience with, uh, talking to people properly," Robbie stumbled.

"Well, maybe you could talk about what makes you happy, you kind of sidestepped that question when I first asked," Stephanie suggested again.

"There's not a lot, really. Cake, getting enough sleep for once, coffee when I don't, S- yeah, that's it." he listed.

"Are you getting more sleep now we're at school most of the day?" she asked.

"No."

"Why? I thought it was the noise!"

"It's because I'm a really light sleeper, I guess, like really light. I get woken up by anything and everything, not just kids. Which also stops me from getting to sleep in the first place." he explained, adding, "And since I can't spend the entire day trying to sleep, I'm usually running on less three hours or less."

"Oh no! You've never told me that!" Stephanie gasped.

"I never had reason to."

"I know, but still! It must be horrible!" She sounded legitimately concerned, not something Robbie was used to hearing but still identifiable.

"Sure is. But I deal with it." Robbie told her.

"How?" she asked, "I'd go crazy!"

"Coffee, of course."

"That makes sense. But still! I feel really bad, I wish I could help somehow!" Stephanie exclaimed.

"But you can't, and neither can I. As I said, I don't deserve your pity." Robbie said.

"Okay..." she trailed off before asking, "Hey, Robbie?"

"What?"

"Does spending time with Sportacus make you happy?"

Robbie looked at her with sarcastic disappointment. "Among other things. Like comically uncomfortable. You're just looking for an excuse to send him down here in your place, so you can go play, aren't you?"

"No!" she clarified, "I'm creating a backlog of reasons he should be your boyfriend!"

"Not any more you aren't."

"Aww. I might still in secret."

"You'll only disappoint us both. I'm going to change the subject now."

"Why?"

"Because _I_ know I don't have a single chance with him. I'm going to _change the subject_ now."

"What makes you think that?"

" _I'm going to change the subject now_."

"But why? Why don't you think you have a chance with him?" Stephanie inquired.

"Where do I even begin? Look, kid, just drop it." Robbie replied.

"Sorry..." she apologised, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable or anything."

"Can I _please_ change the subject now?" Robbie asked.

"Uh, sure! What should we talk about?"

"I don't really care. Not Sportaflop."

~

Stephanie and Robbie had been talking, mostly about his mental state, for almost an hour when an urgent knock sounded from outside.

"Hello, Robbie? Is Stephanie in there with you?" a voice called. _Shit_. It was Sportacus.

"What do you want, Sportakook?" Robbie shouted back.

"To talk to Stephanie! Is she down there?"

"I'm here!" she yelled up.

"You were _not_ meant to say that-" Robbie just managed to hiss before flinching out of the way as Sportacus landed neatly, bending his knees to soften the fall, on the rug just by them.

"Hey, dad!" Stephanie grinned, waving. Robbie felt a pang of jealously at this, but ignored it as best he could. "About Trixie, right?"

"Yes, it's Trixie. One second, Stephanie-" Sportacus said, and focused his attention on Robbie. "Robbie! What happened?"

"I'm fine, Sportaflop. You're here to talk to Stephanie, and leave. Ignore me." Robbie had forgotten how much of a mess he looked, and didn't think he had enough mental energy to cast a spell which could fix his hair and makeup.

"Is that... blood on your sleeve?" Sportacus asked.

"What? Probably ketchup or something." Robbie lied.

"It doesn't look like ketchup! Robbie, seriously, what happened?" Sportacus exclaimed.

"She's right there." Robbie said, changing the subject.

"Stephanie, could I talk to you outside, then?" Sportacus asked.

"Yeah, sure!" Stephanie agreed. "I'll be back in a minute, Robbie! Don't do anything stupid." She got up, and followed Sportacus outside.

As soon as Stephanie was out of sight Robbie felt a painful sadness sink back down onto him like a thick, heavy blanket of bad thoughts. She was back soon though, looking even more worried than ever.

"Robbie," she began nervously, "you haven't been... cutting yourself, have you? Because Sportacus said that you'd mentioned it on Tuesday, and he saw the blood on your sleeve, and we're just really worried, okay? Both of us!"

Robbie just stared.

"Sportacus thought it would be better if it was me who asked you, rather than him, since we're friends, but he's still worried too!" Stephanie reassured desperately, "Please, you can talk to me!"

"We're... friends?" Robbie asked, testing the word. "Why would you want to be my friend?"

"Robbie, we've been over this! We're friends, we're friends, we're friends!" she explained.

"I still don't understand why you'd want to be," he responded.

"I've explained it to you, what, twice so far today?" Stephanie sighed, "You're funny, you're nice even if you don't want to be, and most of all you really, really need a friend right now. If you've been cutting yourself today you can tell me, okay!"

"I don't think I'm quite comfortable with an eight-year-old asking me that, to be honest." Robbie told her, "Kids your age shouldn't even know what that is!"

"Well, I do. And Sportacus filled me in a little bit. A lot of a bit, actually." Stephanie said, and paused to stare, slightly wistfully, past Robbie. Without turning her head, she concluded, "You have, haven't you."

"Yeah..." Robbie conceded, "Just- Don't tell Sportacus, okay? I don't want him coming down here and trying to help."

"He'd already guessed. I'm so sorry I didn't notice up 'til now!" Stephanie replied, turning back to Robbie.

"It's not like I wanted you to though, don't beat yourself up about it." Robbie told her.

"Sportacus says you should lie down for a bit, by the way. Where's your bed?" Stephanie asked.

"Don't have one." Robbie told her.

"Where do you _sleep_?"

"Right here." Robbie lifted his arm slightly to point at the side of the chair, "What's the point in a bed when I have this?"

"It's way too small for you to share with Sportacus!" Stephanie exclaimed. "Sorry. Now's probably not the time."

"No." Robbie stated flatly. "Hey, want to grab the laptop? I think I'd be a little more up for watching your cartoon now."

"Yay! Sure, I'll go grab it." Stephanie said, and ran over to carry it over. She set it down on the small table by Robbie's chair, and turned it on. He'd taught her how to start the video up herself, lazy as he was, and she did so quickly, setting the fifth episode to play.

"Before the episode starts," Stephanie began as the opening theme tinkled away, "I want you to know, that if you ever feel like you want to hurt yourself, you can come find me, okay? And we can talk, and you'll forget all about it!"

"You were at school," Robbie responded.

"Come find me at school then! I'm sure they'd count it as an emergency." Stephanie suggested.

"I doubt it." Robbie told her.

"Well, they should!" Stephanie objected indignantly.

"That's just not how the world works. Life isn't some rose-tinted puppet show where everything goes your way." Robbie told her. "Shh. It's starting, I thought you wanted to watch!"

~

"Is Stephanie still with you?" Sportacus called from outside. "I've brought Trixie to say sorry!"

"Yup." Robbie affirmed, "Send the brat down then."

Moments later an embarrassed-looking Trixie landed awkwardly a few feet in front of the chair. Robbie paused the video. "Hey Steph, Robbie," she mumbled.

"Hi Trixie!" Stephanie greeted excitedly.

"Um, I just wanted to say sorry for what I said earlier," she apologised, "I know I was mean, and I hope you can forgive me! I still don't know why you'd want to keep him company, but I still respect your decision. Friends again?"

"Friends again." Stephanie accepted.

"Did Sportacus script that for you or something?" Robbie asked.

"I helped!" Trixie yelped.

"Well, thank you for apologising, Trixie!" Stephanie told her.

"Yeah, um, sure, thanks. Now shoo." Robbie ordered.

"Okay, thanks, bye!" Trixie said, still a little embarrassed, "See you later Steph?"

"Yeah!"

~

"Do you think Aoi-san is actually even going to end up with one of the girls at all?" Stephanie asked Robbie curiously as she walked over to set the laptop back on the table to charge.

"I don't think so, that's kind of the point of the show, isn't it?" Robbie replied, "And even if someone does, Tsuji would just kill them, right?"

"Not if someone kills her first!" Stephanie chirped. "I think Yamaoka-chan should end up with him, so she should kill Tsuji-chan. In my opinion."

"You really shouldn't be wanting these girls to kill eachother, Stephanie." Robbie nagged.

"It's not real, though!" she protested, sitting back down on the arm of the chair. "And besides, either someone kills Tsuji, or Tsuji kills everyone!"

"Not everyone," Robbie reasoned, "But I see where you're coming from. It's called act utilitarianism, I think."

"Cool! Who do you think he should end up with, then?" she asked.

"I'm not sure." Robbie replied. "Not Tsuji, obviously."

"Yeah. Do you want to watch the next episode?" she asked.

"Sure, but don't you have homework? Maybe you should do that first." Robbie suggested.

"Yeah, probably should." Stephanie agreed, "You have my uncle's home phone number, right?"

"Should do."

"Okay, just call me on that if you get sad again!" she instructed.

"Like- threatening levels of sad, or just generally sad?" he asked.

"It doesn't matter! If you need me to come back, you call, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. I will."

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry I didn't write any of Robbie and Stephanie actually watching the anime, since that would require me actually writing the plot and stuff for it, which I don't think is really needed or anything, and would just slow down my writing even further. Maybe the next one they watch will be real, so I can actually write their reactions and stuff. Let me know if that'd be a good idea, I'm not really sure yet.
> 
> Anyways, thanks for reading ^u^


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